03 April 2020

Doubt is an Apricot Chameleon

The innate ability
to differentiate
the shades of peach 
from those of papaya
has recklessly 
passed me by

I try to match
the pigment 
of my background,

yearning for 
the color that 
will provide the 
perfect protection,

so I can rest 
without fear
or judgment,

an isolation
of invisibility,

but I falter
every damn time

“Safety orange”
offered no safety

I clumsily strive 
to perceive 
the difference
between carrot
and tangerine,
persimmon and jasper,
tea rose and melon,

but the struggle 
only ends in 
tears of frustration,
inadequacy

Why can’t I,
like the others,
blend in?

I question
each choice
that led my feet
to the very spot
that now effortlessly
discloses my 
glaring presence,
my failure to hide

But maybe apricot 
wasn’t made for 
camouflage, 

my existence not
intended to dissolve 
into an unknown backdrop

Perhaps apricot
is just showing me
as I choose to be


3 Apr 2020


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