Checks and Balances, age 232, departed this life and went to be with its makers on January 31, 2020. After suffering from poor health for years, Checks and Balances was found dead on the senate floor. Photographs show a knife in its back, which many witnesses were willing to corroborate but their testimony was declined as they were told the knife did not exist. Preceded in death by its beloved spouse, the late Integrity, and their children, Facts and Evidence, Checks and Balances is survived by four remaining children, Greed, Corruption, Indifference, and Party Over Country. In lieu of flowers, the bereaved ask that you send votes. Services will be held November 3rd for those who wish to pay their respects to the dearly departed.
31 Jan 2020
Thank Citizen's United, the final stab.
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