08 July 2020

Meddling, Malevolent Marmots

“The marmot is believed to have caused the 1911 pneumonic plague epidemic,” the CNN article reads.

Not “human trapping, killing, and widespread trading of the marmot’s fur infected thousands.” Nope. Just like “humans were minding our own damn business and the evil fucking marmots infected us.”

Humans won’t take the blame for anything.

We blame cows for going mad when we force them into cannibalism.

We blame deer and rabbits because they, like us, enjoy nibbling on plants, while we blame wolves and coyotes for enjoying the taste of animal flesh. How dare they also know hunger!

Even when they avoid veggies and farmed animals, desiring only the scraps we’ve already discarded, we blame raccoons for eating our trash.

We blame animals because they don’t perfectly preserve our lawns and golf courses. You know, like how we perfectly preserve their forests and grasslands.

We blame certain cats for our bad luck.

We blame dogs for eating our homework. 

We even blame a snake for making an apple enticing.

We blame cows for their farts without blaming ourselves for the mass breeding that puts them here.

We blame the deer for “hitting” our cars, though we were the ones in motion.

No self-examination. 

No acceptance of responsibility. 

Always their fault.

We are like Jeffrey Dahmer blaming our victim for the food poisoning.


8 Jul 2020

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