Congratulations on Your Impeachment

We know it’s been 

bothering you

Numbers are 

the very thing

you most love 

to brag about

Inflated, incorrect,

alternative numbers

For years, 

you’ve had to 

distort numbers,

setting records

only in your head

Finally, sir, 

you set a record

without hyperbole,

without exaggeration,

without even a sharpie

You rose,

or should I say fell,

to the occasion

The honor is yours,

an unprecedented 

presidential accomplishment:

the most votes

in American history

Even, 

for your first time ever,

more votes than a Clinton

Celebrate your accomplishment,

Mr. President!

Take a vacation

in some far off place

Leavenworth 

sounds like a nice fit

20 Dec 2019