The waves were
rocking about us,
the sea level rising
and dark storms
gathered overhead
There were millions
of us splashing
and bobbing,
not knowing
how much longer
we could stay afloat
Some vegan was
frantically
turning hemp
and broccoli
into life rafts
of sustainability
and tossing them
to all within reach
But the rafts weren’t
wrapped in bacon
so they didn’t
exactly entice us
Besides, the vegan
was rude and
obnoxious,
not asking politely,
being all judgy
about our holding
cows underwater,
one of the few
enjoyments we
treasured in
our watery lives
Damn pushy vegans
drive me crazy
So I drowned
instead of touching
his hippy raft
Ha! I showed him
and died more politely
30 Aug 2019
Inspiration for the poem: My amazing (nonvegan) friend shared this brilliant NYT article (by a nonvegan) that notes meat is killing the planet and, at the least, if we can't join vegans, we should not mock, but support them. The response from 2 of the 5 commenters: "vegans are pushy"